Worm Quartet - Hair On The Soap lyrics

There's a hair on my soap An ugly little thing A little pubic souvenir upon my Irish Spring There's a hair on my soap It's curly, long, and fine There's a hair on the soap And I don't think it's mine My roommate must have used it Cuz I see his soap is gone It was just a sliver yesterday And now it has pa**ed on I feel for his predicament But still it isn't fair Just cuz he used up his Ivory Why should I bathe in his hair? There's a hair on my soap A hair on my soap Can't rinse it off, can't scrape it off, I don't know how to cope With this hair on my soap This hair on my soap I just thought I'd take a shower, But I've given up all hope The water's pouring down on me And splashing in the drain The shampoo's running in my eyes I'm wincing from the pain I can't deal with the horror Of this most disgusting find This sample of his DNA My roommate left behind I look around the tub My other roommate's soap is there It's shiny white and barely used Devoid of pubic hair So I used it and I put it back Where it's supposed to go And I think that it's the perfect crime But little do I know I left a hair on his soap A hair on his soap Well at least it's lest disgusting Than to find one in your Scope There's a hair on the soap A hair on the soap The cycle goes forever And I don't know how to cope There's a hair on the soap A hair on the soap Even in the yuppie bathrooms Where they hang it on a rope They still find hair on the soap Yes hair on the soap And no one of us is safe Hell, I'd even bet the pope Has found a hair on the soap A hair on the soap Could be from somebody's balding head Or from their an*l slope There's a hair on the soap A hair on the soap Could be from a person, from a dog, Or from an antelope There's a hair on the soap A hair on the soap If you ask me if I like it I'll just have to tell you nope There's a hair on the soap A hair on the soap I'm running out of rhymes now And I really have to grope…