Worm Quartet - Frank's Not In The Band Anymore lyrics

We had this drummer and his name was Frank He didn't play too well, in fact he really stank Frank was a pretty boy, girls thought he was a hottie But he thought he was a woman trapped inside of a man's body So Frank went to the doctor, said he needed a change From a car to a garage in his home down on the range But they messed up the paperwork to trim his lucky charm And when he woke from the anesthesia he only had one arm Frank filed a lawsuit he somehow managed to lose And we had nothing for him but still more bad news We told him early while his stub was still sore "Frank, you're not in the band anymore." Frank was upset, he wanted back in the band And so he taught himself to drum with one hand We went to his garage and got together to rehearse He had really s**ed before and now he wasn't much worse So we decided we'd give him another try When suddenly a chainsaw fell down from the sky His brother had been playing with it up in the loft It hit Frank square in the shoulder, cut his other arm right off We were in the middle of playing a Meatmen song Suddenly we noticed that the rhythm sounded wrong We turned around, saw the bloody arm lying on the floor Then Frank wasn't in the band anymore So he tried playing the drums with his feet It sounded stupid but it really looked neat But he lost his legs in an accident involving frogs and Tang That he's never quite been able to explain So he tried sticking the drumsticks in his nose This made the handles all sticky and gross He talked funny when he played now with a pained nasal lisp And his drum solos sounded like this (Drum solo with owing and a dropped drumstick) Frank: "Dammit…hey, can somebody pick that up?" Band: "NO!" When he finally got whiplash from playing with his head We said "Frank, you've got to stop this or else you'll soon be dead "We've enjoyed our time together, it's really been fun "But drummers need extremities and you don't have a one" Frank got real quiet; Frank got real sad He didn't speak to us for months; I guess we made him mad But I'm proud to say this story still has a happy end He got prosthetic everything and now he's still our friend We use him to prop open the door to the shed And in the wintertime we've got the world's only talking sled But our new drummer's name is Yamaha, we got him at the store Cuz Frank's not in the band anymore No, Frank's not in the band anymore No, Frank's not in the band Anymore