Worm Quartet - My Wife lyrics

My wife Is made up of some parts She's got a lot of hair She's got a couple nostrils I think she's got a spleen She argues with the fridge And a**aults my Barbeque sauce She hisses at highway traffic I think she's really keen My wife Calls knocked-down road signs pheasants She makes words into chicks She doesn't smell like aluminum She's never stabbed my groin She owns electronic pork She's threatened me with happy horns She let me name our cats After obscure keyboard characters When we're having a lousy time She can summon carnivals into existence with the power of her mind And if our waitress is depressed She can hold a fork in her tongue ring while I pick up my straw with my nosepit My wife Likes running over hookers But only in Grand Theft Auto Her pet name for me is "numbnuts" Somehow she makes it cute She made me a giant tampon She talks to infomercials She lets me touch her b**bs I think she's really keen