Worm Quartet - Great Idea For A Song lyrics

Remember when we used to hold each other close And gaze so deeply in each other's eyes Remember how I said I'd never let you go And how you swore you'd never tell me lies (You do? Well…) All I remember is the way you nonchalantly Squashed my heart just like a co*kroach on the floor All I remember is the happiness I felt The day I finally kicked your skank a** out the door Remember when you were the best part of my life The reason I got up to face the day Remember how you swore you'd always stay by me And love me for forever come what may (You do? Well…) All I remember is the nights you'd go out drinking And I'd pray the cops would find you somewhere dead All I remember is the way that all my dishes Became airborne and flew right into my head Now please don't think I'm ranting cuz I'm bitter I've found somebody new and I've moved on But if only your name rhymed with twisted psychotic s*ut I'd have a great idea for a song Remember how we used to drive down to the beach And walk along the seashore hand in hand Remember how we used to sit and watch the waves And spell out our initials in the sand (You do? Well…) All I remember is the whining and the moaning And the griping about every little thing All I remember is how soundly I could sleep When I dreamt of your lifeless body festering Now please don't think that this is all just hindsight I've felt this way about you for so long And if only your name rhymed with sadistic lying bi*** I'd have a great idea for a song Oh your name…might as well Rhyme with psycho who*e from south of hell After all the crap you put me through back then Oh if only your mom and dad Had named you something that rhymed with "walking talking maxipad" Think of all the clever tunes I could have penned Cuz Becky rhymes with yecky And Missy rhymes with pissy And Susie rhymes with floozie And Patty rhymes with fatty Elizabeth rhymes with kiss-of-d**h And Eleanor rhymes with smelly who*e And Marigold rhymes with hairy-holed And Lauren rhymes with scorin' Celia Linda Park rhymes with "Feel ya in the dark" Daisy Rhoda York rhymes with "Easy ho ta pork" Rhonda Lynn Mae Stutback rhymes with "Fondlin' my bu*tcrack" I'd pay to change your name to Shelly Hunt Remember when your latest hunk of throbbing meat Had left you for a nicer piece of a** Remember when you called me sobbing on the phone And begged me to forgive you for your past (You do? Well…) All I remember is that lab rats don't push levers After taking an electric shock or two I'd rather duct tape a live wire to my groin Than take a d**h march down memory lane with you Now please don't think I want to be your friend now I'd rather see John Goodman in a thong But if only your name rhymed with back-stabbing heartless tramp I'd have a great idea for a song Yeah if only your name rhymed with manipulative conniving who*e I'd have a great idea for a song Yeah if only your name rhymed with worthless cheating worm-ridden bu*t-ugly bile-s**ing skanky smelly s*utty waste of flesh, fat, and bone that makes me want to donate my entire life savings to NASA in the hopes that someday they'll make a time machine and I can retroactively give your parents a box of condoms I'd have great idea for a song