Weird Al Yankovic - Dare to Be Stupid lyrics

[Verse 1] Put down that chainsaw and listen to me It's time for us to join in the fight It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It's time to let the bedbugs bite You better put all your eggs in one basket You better count your chickens before they hatch You better sell some wine before its time You better find yourself an itch to scratch You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Whipple's not around Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan [Verse 2] Talk with your mouth full Bite the hand that feeds you Bite off more than you chew What can you do Dare to be stupid Take some wooden nickles Look for Mr. Goodbar Get your mojo working now I'll show you how You can dare to be stupid You can turn the other cheek You can just give up the ship You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip [Chorus] Dare to be stupid Come on and dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Let's go [Verse 3] It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill So can I have a volunteer There's no more time for crying over spilled milk Now it's time for crying in your beer Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away It's OK, you can dare to be stupid It's like spitting on a fish It's like barking up a tree It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free [Chorus] [Verse 4] Burn your candle at both ends Look a gift horse in the mouth Mashed potatoes can be your friends You can be a coffee achiever You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver The future's up to you So what you gonna do [Verse 5] Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid What did I say Dare to be stupid Tell me, what did I say Dare to be stupid It's alright Dare to be stupid We can be stupid all night Dare to be stupid Come on, join the crowd Dare to be stupid Shout it out loud Dare to be stupid I can't hear you Dare to be stupid OK, I can hear you now Dare to be stupid Let's go, Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid