[Verse 1] Everywhere I look it seems like everybody's pairing off I'm staring at the pairs like they were tits on Lara Croft Even all the dogs I see are clicking so terrific Picking out their favorite puppy's a** to sniff and stickin with it All the faker single ladies t**n to Beyoncé Every single one of em is somebody's fiancée You never spilled your guts. You wanted to yell your say Wait a couple years and try again when they're divorcees All the gentlemen are trynna get the p**y, wanna make that pelvis scream But when I hit it and I quit it then it never really helps my self-esteem We want some tonsil hockey, but we got hecka co*ky Overfished the ocean, so we're running low on tekka maki Sushi douchey dudes are saying 'do me' but we're doomed We run away from keepers and go creepin on the goons Most men and women full of crap, need a laxative Want the a** when I'm waxin it, Uncle Sam how I'm taxin it Do a backflip and try to land in it, then abandon it, pretty soon we're back to [Hook] 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4 I don't believe in “the one” 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4 There's no such thing as “the one” [Verse 2] Wonderland is where I'll find an Alice who is radical But I'm drunk on Facebook now and diving down that rabbit hole Checkin on my ex and soon I'm creepin on her lover And when the picture buffers I see her new boyfriend's buffer than me Got those upper pecs his f**in V-neck couldn't cover My dick is pretty lonely but my nuts still got each other I suffer, suffer from a habit, yes I'm an addict But someone else is out there, it's just simple mathematics There's over 7 billion mothaf**as on the planet and 4 billion of us are of legal age That's 2 billion ladies, 4 billion tittays, and I bet a couple of em aren't engaged And I get it you've been looking for the one but they been running trynna hide like Kony And you're gonna find em if you're getting back into the saddle, baby ride that pony And if you never get over that early lover then it s**s for you Gotta admit that it's difficult to be watching her with him but everybody want a love that's true I'm waiting, batin' patiently, yo I'm a catch I'm losing my head, playing musical beds, and looking for “the one” that match [Hook] 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4 I don't believe in “the one” 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4 There's no such thing as “the one”