Your fallen tears have called to me So here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life, happily... With just a wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist In just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high priced dress made by mice, no less Crystal gla** pumps and no more stress Your worries will vanish Your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you start a new fashion trend! I'll make you fancy I'll make you great The kind of gal the prince would date They'll write your name on the bathroom wall "For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!" A sporty new carriage to ride in style Sexy man, my chauffeur Kyle! I'll vanish your blemishes Tooth decay Cellulite thighs will fade a way And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon frisee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land the prince with the perfect hair Lipstick, liners, shadow, blush! To get that prince with a s**y tush! Lucky day! A bouquet! You and the prince take a roll in the hay! You can swoon on the moon With the prince To this tune! Don't be drab, you'll be fab! Your prince will have rock hard abs! Cheese soufflé! Have a nice day! Have some chicken frica**ee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land the prince with the perfect hair Lipstick, liners Fiona: "Stop! Thank you, very much, Fairy Godmother, but I'm afraid that I don't need all this!" All: (Astonished murmuring) Dresser: "Fine. Be that way."