The Walrus and the Carpenter Or, The Story of the Curious Oysters The sun was shining on the sea Shining with all his might He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright And this was odd because it was The middle of the night The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand The beach was wide From side to side But much too full of sand "Mr. Walrus," said the Carpenter "My brain begins to perk We'll sweep this clear in 'alf a year If you don't mind the work" "Work?! The time has come," the Walrus said "To talk of other things Of shoes and ships and sealing wax Of cabbages and kings And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings Calloo-Callay No work today! We're cabbages and kings" Oh, uh, Oysters, come and walk with us The day is warm and bright A pleasant walk A pleasant talk Would be a sheer delight Yes, and should we get hungry on the way We'll stop and, uh, have a bite? But Mother Oyster winked her eye And shook her hairy head She knew too well This was no time to leave her Oyster bed "The sea is nice Take my advice And stay right here," Mum said Yes, yes, of course, of course, but, uh, ha, ha The time has come, my little friends To talk of other things Of shoes and ships and sealing wax Of cabbages and kings And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings, ha ha Callo-Callay Come, run away With cabbages and kings! Well, now, uh, let me see Ah, a loaf of bread is What we chiefly need! Listen, how 'bout some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh? Well, yes, yes, splendid idea, ha ha! Very good, indeed Now, if your ready, Oysters, dear We can begin the feed Feed?! Oh, yes, the time has come, my little friends To talk of food and things Of peppercorns and mustard seeds And other seasonings! We'll mix 'em all together In a sauce that's fit for kings Calloo-Callay We'll eat today Like cabbages and kings! I, uh, weep for you. I (hic), oh excuse me I deeply sympathise For I've enjoyed your company, oh much more Than you realize Little Oysters? Little Oysters? But answer, there came none And this was scarcely odd because They'd been eaten Every one! With cabbages and kings! The End!