[Verse 1] The Empty Bottle was half empty, tide was low, and I was thirsty Saw her sitting at the bar, you know how some girls are Always making eyes, well she wasn't making eyes So I sidled up beside her, settled down and shouted, "Hi there." "My name's Stewart Ransom Miller, I'm a serial lady-k**er." She said, "I'm already dead," that's exactly what she said So we tripped the lights fantastic, we was both made of elastic Midnight came and midnight went, and I thought I was the President She said, "Do you have a car," and I said, "Do I have a car?" [Chorus] What's so great about the Barrier Reef? What's so fine about art? What's so good about a Good Times Van When you're working on a broken Working on a broken Working on a broken man? When you're working on a broken Working on a broken Working on a broken man? My heart wasn't in it, not for one single minute I went through the motions with her. Her on top, and me on liquor Didn't do no good, well I didn't think it would [Chorus]