Waldfield - My Relations lyrics

[Verse 1] Waldfield... ("People always sayin' 'What the hell does that mean?'") Waldfield... I'll tell you the first half. I'm on trial at a Grand hearing, and we all sequestered Just me, my peers, my bosses, some professors And some real thick folders of evidence they got To decide if I can keep bein' a teacher or not And it's crazy how high they're stackin' it But even worse is that they made me wear a tie and a suit jacket I start to dream of what I'll wear when I leave this Then about the cute stenographer and her cleavage And then about the look I gave her daughter last Thursday Which I guess is why I'm here in the first place I may be settin' records for the grades that they get But man sometimes I wonder if complaints have been submit Like, none of the girls really seemed to mind it at the time But I guess you never know exactly what's inside a teen's mind All this drama that they invent Maybe one was jealous I skipped her and did her friend Well the gavel hits, so I guess they're startin' I calculate a way for me to maybe get a pardon I can't plead insanity or self-defense This is getting boring, I start looking for the exit But they sit me back down and say "Alright, Fielding Lean into the microphone, be sure to speak clearly Please tell the jury, what's your relation... [Hook 1] What's your relation to Satan? What's your relation to Satan?" [Verse 2] You wanna know? What's my relation To Satan? Well it's complicated I know you heard that I used to date him Used to fel**te him, and fillet human brains with him Straight desecrate sacrosanct holy days with him And yeah for a while it was great and... Just wait 'til I explain, I see that look on your face It started back, way back in the 8th grade You know that expression that people tend to say: "Speak of the devil and he doth appear"? Well I decided one day to test that theory I was walkin' home from school and the leaves were turnin' red I wondered aloud what the devil was like in bed A shadow came that made the whole place dim My mind started racin' as I wondered what I'd say to him But it wasn't Satan, just a truck beside me Guess you gotta do more than apostrophizing But I know how to get more voices than just one Start a book club, discuss Milton once a month I pa**ed some fliers out to all my friends It was the '90s, had to make 'em by hand All cuttin' up magazines and gluin' it The committee says "Hey, where you goin' with this?" Oh that's right, you want to know about Satan I'll get to that part, have some damn patience I met with my club about Paradise Lost "Isn't that Satan character such a boss?" But no one had read their homework Kinda foreshadowing my life as an adult I said, "f** y'all, this meeting adjourned I ain't teachin' sh** to you if you don't wanna learn" Went back home and like stared into the mirror Feeling despondent, when a shadow appeared And this time, it was really him though.. The devil in the flesh, and smellin' like brimstone "Oh my gosh Satan, I love your work I have all of your albums, and two of your t-shirts" (Wallid, what's the purpose you have summoned me for?) "Um, I dunno, I guess I was bored But now that you're here, I'm gettin' some ideas Let's go to my room, and mute the TV" (Why? Do you wanna marry, f**, or k** me?) Yo, I wanna do all three [Hook 2] My relations... My relations with Satan... Were pretty nice [Verse 3] We dated for a while, and as I remember In the beginning at least, he was really tender Every time we made love, pa**ions smolderin' like embers Problem was he had a bit of a temper And I knew what I could do to make him settle back down But every time I wasn't around He would get really jealous, cussin' and yellin' Wouldn't let me talk to any other of the fellas Once I came home after we had had a spat He had slashed apart my furniture, and my cat Our love was on fire every time we were alone But unfortunately, so was my home "Satan, come on now, why have you done this? You don't understand what the meaning of love is" (Wallid, please, baby, try to calm down You can have a new home with me, living underground) “No way, Satan, forget it, we're through I don't even care you got a Wallid tattoo You may as well rip it off, wash it with salt Scrub it with Brillo and an arsenic-soaked cloth Stop that 'baby' nonsense, punk, are you kiddin' me?" (But there's only one way that you can get rid of me We'll have a rap battle, winner takes all If you win, you're single, if not, I take your soul) "Well, gee, satan, that's a little cliché But alright, like, f** it, I'ma do it anyway" I start bustin' out some rhymes right then With some freestylin' I pulled out the top of my head My flow was dope, I could tell by the crowd That was formin' around, plus from Satan's dropped mouth And when I'd finished, ten minutes had pa**ed Instead of droppin' the mic, I insert it in my a** Satan's turn comes, but he doesn't strike back Just runs home to hell without saying one rap Damn, that was weird, what was that about? Oh sh**, I just realized, he wrote my lyrics down He's gonna make a hit outta bitin' my part And yeah, a week later, he's already on the charts And a week after that, he on the cover of Teen Pop I gotta find a way to make this fool stop I gotta take him out, I'm gonna end his reign in hell And his stay in the immortal realm Wanna know how i did it? you can S my D This is borin' to me, so I'm up outta this piece Waldfield