Voltaire - The Dirtiest Song That Ain't lyrics

I've been 'round for a long time And I learned along the way: If you wanna go on the radio There are words you just can't say! Well, I thought hard about it And I found a way around it Help me go on the radio, you gotta say the words I can't. You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't. Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't Down in Carolina I met a girl with a nice [...] So I reached down between us And I whipped out my [...] Skipped right past the s**in' And got right down to [...] She turned and said: "I gotta ask, Would you slip it into my [...]?" Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't. You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't. Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't Her husband was a trucker He was a filthy mother[...] I didn't wanna wrastle With this no-good stinkin' [...] I heard him come through the kitchen door When I was bangin' his filthy [...] I knew I'd end up in a ditch If he caught me ridin' his [...] Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't. You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't. Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand And say the words I can't? You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't "Mercy, please!" I told him, But he grabbed me by the [...] And he did something heinous He exposed his [...] I said "I don't mean to seem cra**, But why are you bu*tering up your [...]?" He said "My wife's a beard, and she lured you here. 'Cause I'm queer and I love it in the [...]" Help me go on the radio by saying the words I can't. You have to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't. Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand. By saying the words I can't. You have to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song, The filthiest song, The dirtiest song that ain't.