Voltaire - The U.S.S. Make sh** Up (BiTrektual Version) lyrics

Well, I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our a**es up We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head! Well, I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see? The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!" I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach And I said, Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some sh** up I know he's just a child, and most think him a twit But Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some sh** He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space Just tell him: "shut up, Wesley," if he gets in your face And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some sh** up Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far We'll keep the booze but please send back the f**ing Jem-hadar And what is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day, They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lamé Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans, they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some sh** up Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble slightly out of phase 'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space" We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg Normally you'd think that that would get us into sh** But this one has a smashing a** and a lovely set of tits And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some sh** up Well then they got a new show And it's called Enterprise And it takes place a hundred years Before Kirk was alive They say that it's a prequel Or so that's what it's called It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved They have a Vulcan female But she's a nervous wreck Her a** is sweet as Seven's only green So what the heck They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some sh** up [Bonus verse] Well it would seem a big wig up at Paramount Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts Cause he hired J. J. Abrams to give the thing a shove I feared that he would mock and mangle everything I love Well I went to the movie and there much to my shock There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock Vulcan's been destroyed and the timeline has been crushed So someone tell me why I love this film so f**ing much And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making sh** up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind --we're totally screwed but never mind-- We'll pull something out of our behinds What does God need with a starship? We just make some sh** up