Voltaire - Cantina (BiTrektual Version) lyrics

Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter Hell ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine But then I saw that there Cantina I'll go in for an Orangina I heard it was rough but how bad could it be? Well I walked through the door and the music stopped...dead All manner of man and beast were starein' at me Seems just one week before, their Twilex slave-girl walked out the door And I guess I was the next best thing they seen I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak 'cause ya turn the other cheak But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man Old Hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me Whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar My an*s he destroyed And now I got me, hemeroids They had to wrench him off my nuts with a gaffe bar I was hit over the head by old Han Solo I'd have never guessed that Pirate was a h*mo I woke up next to Chewbacca I was smeared in Wookie Ca ca And what they did to my poor nipples was a no no I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak 'cause ya turn the other cheak But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man Well Salacious Crumb's so small ya cant detect him Before I knew it, he shoved himself straight in, my rectum And then, just to be heinous, he screamed real loud out of my an*s Now I got a an*l car alarm and I cant disconnect him Oh greedo Greedily grabbed his green weenie And he yanked that s**er till it wasn't so tee-nee He took me into Jabba's hut. He stared intently at my bu*t And then he Ooh-ta-ta'd me with his zucchini I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak 'cause ya turn the other cheak But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man Take it away boys! Well a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you!" I said "Sorry" He said "I don't like ya neither ya better watch yourself!" And then some old dude who taught Vader, chopped his arm off with his saber And later made for one red hot an*l invader I was broken..on the floor beat to a stooper But then I was saved! there at the door was 10 stormtroopers! But then my hopes faded away.. I didn't know they cloned 'em gay And they each took turns storm troopin' me in the pooper I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak 'cause ya turn the other cheak But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man