Ubiquitous (Battle Rapper) - Charron vs Ubiquitous lyrics

[Round 1: Ubiquitous] I can see his appeal to the average person watching at home They see him rhyming they love it, it's no fault of their own Cause they don't know about formations, set ups, quality flow Their pick of the winner is hinged on who puts on a comedy show So he milks his gimmick image, never strays outside his comfort zone Gay, dick and sister jokes, sh** about us colored folks This used be creative art not doing what is comfortable But you made it a contest of which rapper has more mother jokes So simple rhymes for the simple minded, that's just a part of his plan Using a bunch of s** jokes about my mom and my dad and every Asian joke he possibly can See I can read his lines cause I know 'em like the palm of my hand And he's got rebu*tals, you know, takes what I say and flips it I'll admit it, it was cool, the first 50 times you did it But you do it every round of every battle that you've been in You don't need to prove you can freestyle we get it So laugh at his comedy routine, it's whatever dude The freestyle rebu*tal each round that we expect from you But know that with each generic joke that you subject them to Every other rapper loses that much more respect for you [Round 1: Charron] Yo, he talked about the palm of his hand, I should give him head strikes The only thing that revolves around the palm of your hand is your s** life Yo last event he picked me up at the airport and we crashed at his house Like there's tire tracks on his couch this Asian crashed into his house Yo celebrate this, I know it's hella racist but your phone number is only listed in the Yellow Pages Yo, he don't smoke weed at all, he just washed dishes and does quantum physics I hit trees with bongs, you hit trees with Honda Civics Yo, so when your rap party's getting fried out, bong hits As your best friend dialing vomits He's screaming while he's working on his science projects "I'm high off knowledge, I love college!" You and your family are physicians this is more of a slaughter I'll stomp your pregnant mother, poor man abortion the toddler Stick a fork in her daughter, Chinese torture your father And give this country a f**ing reason why there's a shortage of doctors First place is something you've never really done Your family had a Jackie Chan look alike contest and everybody won [Round 2: Ubiquitous] He only turned to rap cause he got bullied lots Slapped behind the tears but the veterans know you're getting worse with every line they hear So while you turned to rap to be accepted by your peers They all hung you out to dry cause you're still wet behind your ears That's why we ain't even in the same cla** GM vers' a Maybach Beating you is payback for thievery of A-Cla** Thought he changed the game but your rebu*taling is played Try to go against the grain but still a needle in a haystack And you're not Puff or Big, Blood or Crip, brandishing the weapon Just a f**ing punk fronting with a natural aggression A youngin so I had to give him lessons So I don't need to f** a b**h to son a kid; immaculate conception And you talk a lot of game for someone without an awful lot to say You think you're hot off the top 'til I knock it off like the Rock Em Sock Em game And you're garbage which is why you'll never profit off your name Your lyrics are about as good as Waka Flaka Flame I feel like a peace keeper, in the Middle East I keep heaters Heavy armor, metal choppers, helicopters Heat seekers, rebel martyrs, daily bombers, peasant archers, street sweepers Men of honor to petty robbers, bow to your supreme leader [Round 2: Charron] He wants to talk about the immaculate conception Your father jerked off in a Holiday Inn after smoking crack on Intervention Your mother is a maid who actually got pregnant But humping the motel mattress with aggression So technically you were conceived during immaculate conception You're a virgin with no stripes, you don't have to be told twice Cause you've had that Arnold Schwarzenegger haircut your whole life You have such low self esteem that nothing helps You're so pathetic that during s** you fantasize you're someone else I know the rest you're so depressed you hope for d**h and nothing else sh** it's amazing that this Asian hasn't f**ing William Hung himself Shatter his teeth, a beat down all of Calgary sees Like when Cody The Catch with some transit police It actually seems you got buff and it's weird He thinks he's hot stuff and it's clear Cause now he flex when he talks tough to the mirror like "Not up in here!" In the Grand Prix your partner was dope but you choked like every round It was like you were eating a Cheese string, slowly pulling Chedda down I bet you've never won a staring contest He nodded Every time I have a conversation with you it looks like you're sleep talking I bet Conceited's hype man makes you hungry Yo I'ma rape this f**er so I guess that makes you Underdog...like your plates at supper When Fredo interrupted his bars he's like, "He keep cutting me off oh my dear." Well it's funny cause your people been cutting me off on the road for years [Round 3: Ubiquitous] Before traveling to Calgary his family saw him to the bus stop But they wouldn't let him leave unless they let them pack his lunchbox So he grabbed some snacks and set off with half a pack of Gumdrops And little jam sandwiches his grandma cut the crust off Yo, I'm glad you made it, manned up and put down the finger paint Cause I'm 'bout to go HAM like someone giving up their religious faith I'm off the wall like a ricochet, I'm riding on him like an interstate I spit it so sophisticated you still struggle spelling "illiterate" {Chokes} Yo, and this kid is barely potty trained, this tot's afraid to talk to strangers It's obvious his body frame does not obey the laws of nature If I stomped his scrawny legs they'd pop and break like rotting grapes And you will never walk away and walk again like Charles Xavier And when Barton fought that Zilla kid, your heart went into chronic failure Cause this lame's afraid to take a hit like he's a soccer player Always feeling paranoid, thinking he's in constant danger So when things get heated Corey disappears like water vapor So why's this chump up in my f**ing face, running game that's suffocated Wanna brawl? Let's get it in, I know kung fu I'm f**ing Asian Hit you with the right to left the uppercut, the combination You won't even know what side I'm on like a double agent And I didn't want to take it there I have to So I really came prepared for this cracker How I'm gonna lose to the lame in the game with the same damn facial hair as my grandma Yo and I wish this b**h had picked a different hobby, Mr. Ricky Bobby Little b**h you getting ripped, you wishy washy busy body Do the math like Fibonacci, I got arms like Vince Lombardi Dominate the game like Sidney Crosby playing women's hockey And this sport requires diligence, confidence and vigilance That's why you've never gotten good cause Corey lacks the discipline Thank your lucky stars that I am going into medicine Cause you gon' need a motherf**ing doctor when I finish him [Round 3: Charron] Yo this guy is a f**er You're so Asian that your eyelids are sunburned The only person that will need a doctor when you're finished with them, is your driving instructor Ubiquitous means being omniscient like God who's seeing us right now The definition for Ubiquitous is being everywhere, you don't leave your f**ing house I partied with Sketch, Nebula, Daley when I was there for a week sh**, I got drunk with Bruce B homie rest in peace The definition for Ubiquitous is being everywhere so don't forget what it means Cause when it comes time to party in Calgary you're nowhere to be seen You're a fairy and queen, no one's gayer than this little b**h On the flamboyant scale there's "metro", "bi-s**ual", "full out gay" then "Ubiquitous" ...then "Fresco" Who wants to party in Calgary? To see him is so rare I ask, "Where the hell's Ubiquitous?" and people just don't care Tonight I'm wearing a cowboy hat exhaling weed in your own air Watching FUBAR in a Flames jersey while I'm eating at Donair I don't go to church or believe in above The only GOD I listen to is the Genius On Drugs I loved [?] you've never heard of the dude I know it hurts and it's true It's crazy but in a way I'm more Albertan than you Your mother's obese and I'm a handsome fellow Every time I see that big b**h I start screaming "Fat & Yellow, Fat & Yellow" Yo, I've battled many Asians I'm a flawless MC k**ed Syco then I jumped to the top of the league Slaughtered A-Cla**, now Ubiquitous, I bodied him in three I've murdered so many Asians they'll have to name the next tsunami after me