Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps - Stop Thinking, Start Drinking lyrics

When the pubs are shut And the taxi queue is long When your brain is mashed And your legs are working wrong When you haven't pulled Or even if you have When you've been to Abdul's And he's spat on your kebab Stop thinking, start drinking Don't worry what your parents said Fill your mind with beer instead Stop thinking, start drinking Don't worry what your doctors say Your liver's ruined anyway When you've all been out And you've met the one you love But your bottles gone And you might not get it up If you're insecure That you might not be enough Get some alcopops And show the world your muff Stop thinking, start drinking Don't worry about the health warnings Think about it in the morning Stop thinking, start drinking If you think your head's in trouble Have some more, you'll see it double Stop thinking and start drinking Stop thinking, start drinking Stop your thinking, please, start drinking Stop your thinking and start drinking Stop thinking, start drinking If you're scared you've had too much You need some courage from the Dutch Stop thinking, start drinking Yeah, yeah, yeah!