(Steen) (Spooner/Tubes) Coming out of Lead guitar and drums Rest of the band comes Heavy Said come on baby Oh God, oh sh** Black and white, yeah Polish sausages In a bun, in the sun It's hit-and-run Hey man, like, like check this out man, really, I mean listen I was countin' the holes in the acoustic tile ceiling, you know Mumbling and fumbling with them little bu*tons on my mattress You know, that hold it together So anyways, my mind strays and the tricks that my memory plays Like fascination and abomination on a biblical Broadway stage Like dancers and singers and a fully landscaped gospel group And the harmony and whatever and Dinosaurs eatin' like veggie burgers at the snack bar out front In the lobby, you know So anyways on the same stage is me, naked like an empty page That's when I heard him Like a director's voice with too much echo I guess he was talkin' to yours truly, I mean me Madam, that's Adam Ain't no other woman, that's had 'im He's stronger than a tree That apple tree over there Wealthy in his healthy way Never works, he never plays Sits around and cogitates Right now, he's planting his garden Like I had to hear that chorus twice, you know, before I finally Got the picture I screamed, "I ain't Adam! I never seen the dude, and I ain't no Virgin either" So anyways, it's really lookin' bad man, like that director's Mean when he gets mad Like, might wreck your career with just one nod and like cripple You, you know, for life--that's a long time My legs are shakin', my stomach's knotted, my mind has gone Neurotic I'd run if I could, but you can't hid from him, and besides that Jerk took my shirt and my trousers So anyways, in the depths of my dispair, my co-star arrives--oh God More beautiful than Cher I screamed, "Make up! Gimme the script--please sing that chorus Once more" Madam, that's Adam Ain't no other woman, that's Adam He's stronger than a tree And he's freshly molded from clay Wealthy in his healthy way Never works, he never plays Sits around and cogitates He's inventing the Original Sin now Hey madam, that's Adam Poland Whole--all people what's cold