Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - Lick Myself lyrics

To be a dog is to sit like a log Watching people on the run We don't need your pity 'cause your life is sh**ty We have the real fun 'Cause I can lick myself, got to go You guys have fun at the Broadway show Lick myself, I'm the star You guys have fun at the sushi bar Lick myself, eat my ham You guys have fun at the poetry slam Lick myself, s** and squirt You guys have fun at the Beck concert They say that man is the higher species Because of the opposable thumb Well, man, I'll pa** on playing guitar For the way that I can come Yes, I can lick myself, wet my co*k Have a good time watching Schoolhouse Rock Lick myself, taste my dick You guys have fun at the Julia flick Lick myself, self-fel**te You guys have fun on your double date Lick myself, hydro-wa*k Make sure you chat about Hilary Swa*k So go ahead, man, and rule the world And say you're the master race You can operate complex machinery While I sit on my own face I simply lick myself, douse my pole You guys have fun at the Cotton Bowl Lick myself, soak my meat Have a good time at the staff retreat Lick myself, wash my tool Have a good time at the cooking school Lick myself, polish my knob You guys have fun with your finger job I know an old setter who is a bedwetter He's deaf and has brittle hair His hip is shot and he pukes a lot But he don't f**ing care He can still lick himself, got to fly You guys have fun renting Cable Guy Lick myself, grease my rod You guys have fun reading Joyce on the quad Tell 'em, b**h! (female voice) Oh, I couldn't! (Triumph) Sing it! (female voice) All right! Lick myself, munch my rug Have a good time in your Volkswagen Bug Lick myself, chug my poon Try to have fun on your honeymoon (Triumph) Lick myself, bathe my balls You guys have fun making conference calls Lick myself, I'm my own lunch Have a good time making pineapple punch (female) Lick myself, chew my hair Have a good time at the Lilith Fair Lick myself, tongue my tang Have a good time at your friend's shebang (Triumph) Lick myself, slurp my scope (together) You guys have fun with your hand, and your bottle of liquid soap!