Tripod - Much Too Skinny For The Army lyrics

Joining today's modern defence force is hard enough First you have to choose Navy, Air Force, Army, Kiss Army, Salvation Army Army of Darkness But even once you've chosen you have to make the grade I'm way to skinny for the army way to slender for the job what can I do if my country doesn't want me 'cos my talents only stretch to mini-golf I'm way to unco for the army all that running through car tyres I guess that would come in handy if you invaded a country whose terrain was all car tyres But I'm skinny and I'm clever maybe now more than ever the technology has caught up with me If wars have gone all electronic I could fight them with my joystick as long as they bring pizza to me then I could be in the army It's not tricky to imagine Me in a bunker at a screen controlling reconnisence robots maybe mine detecting robots even robots who run though tyres But I'm skinny and I'm clever maybe now more than ever the technology has caught up with me If wars have gone all electronic I could fight them with my joystick While watching McCloud's Daughters on T.V. Then I could be in the Army I was never good at Pac Man but at Defender I'd light up the skies I was never good at Frogger It's much too much like hopping over tyres And if I dont get in the Army I could become an Evil Mastermind live in an underwater tower and wearing shiny skivvies all the time that would be fine But I'm skinny and I'm clever maybe now more than ever the technology has caught up with me If wars have gone all electronic I could fight them with my joystick As long as they bring pizza to me Then I could be in the Army