Oh, yeah Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation In your inability to handle your libation Go zero to sixty When you get on the whiskey Well, used to be a gla** of wine And you'd be fine all evenin' Now I'm the one who says we're done And tells us when we're leavin' Well, I miss the way that it was Can't even catch the good buzz 'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone Who'll pay the bill, call a cab I don't mean to make you mad But I don't want that responsibility And I can't be with a woman, baby Who gets drunker than me Well, I never thought it'd come to this When I said, have another 'Cause, baby, you turned into me And I became my mother Well, here's what I'm thinkin' You're interferin' with my drinkin' I think I have an answer to our present situation 'Cause you an' me out on the town's Got built in limitations So let me make this clear Hey, I'm the one who's drinkin' here 'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone Who'll pay the bill, call a cab I don't mean to make you mad But I don't want that responsibility And I can't be with a woman, baby Who gets drunker than me I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time But I damn sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone Who'll pay the bill, call a cab I don't mean to make you mad But I don't want that responsibility And I can't be with a woman, baby Who gets drunker than me No, I can't be with a woman, baby