Toxic Mutation - How Can I Tell? lyrics

Through all the love, and happiness, I still feel like I'm in hell You say you love me, but really how can I tell? I know the deep dark secrets behind your pretty smile I cried when you said you wanted to take a break for awhile You're beautiful, you're kind, don't cry, you're perfect Don't listen to them darling, believe me you're worth it And I know there will be times where you don't believe me I wish I was there so you could f**ing see me Crying, lying, dying of pain People trying to get paid, while I'm still trying to stay sane And darling, I wish I could explain how I feel Because the way my mind is shouldn't f**ing be real I want to talk, but there's nobody left It's hard to forget my last suicide attempt It's that simple, so easy to lose it all I will one day, but until then I stall Put me through hell How can I tell? If you love me anymore I wish it was like before We're going to get married! I have so much in plan! But of course someone had to leave me again... I love you, I loved you, I really did I'll just fake my smile so I can stay for awhile No one to love me, sitting here all alone Pretty soon I'll put my life on postpone I want to go back to the way things were before Why am I alive? What am I here for? I tried so bad, just to get a kiss I know if I died, I would not be missed Well I guess goodbye, to my ex future wife You put me through so much pain, you make me want to end my life Why did you start this is if it would end just being hell? I don't know if you know but it should be easy to tell Maybe you don't love me, you hate me perhaps I'm on the verge, I'm about to relapse How can I tell? When you'll put me through hell You used to want to steal me Now why don't you just k** me? I know it's been hard, they're getting to your head The cuts on your arm, and your body you've misfed Peel off a scab, get another blister I'm for your mind, and I'm sorry for your sister Sometimes I wish the problems would go away, but I don't act right The pain gets so strong, I question if I should turn off the light But I have a girlfriend, and I have friends that love me I wish they wouldn't experience the pain coming from me But sometimes we have to let the sorrow in So we don't let the pain of tomorrow in I fail in school because I can't concentrate The more I think, the more I complicate My life didn't turn out as planned Maybe I should try to overdose again? But I need to believe that things will get better Hopefully none of this truly lasts forever...