Too $hort (too Short) - Freaky Tales lyrics

These are the tales, the freaky tales... The tales that I tell so well... I met this girl, her name was joan She loved the way I rocked the microphone When I met joan, I took her home She was just like a doggy all on my bone I met another girl, her name was ann All she wanted was to freak with a man When I met ann, I soked her pans We ended up freakin' by garbage can The next young freak I met was red I took her to the house and she gave me head She likes to freak was all she said We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed There's another girl, her name is mary Talked about s** and the girl acted scary I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy jerry Took her to the house and I popped that cherry Young and tender, sweet denise Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece She only talks about signin' a lease I met this tender, her name was lori And a x-rated movie wouldn't tell her story She had a twinsister, her name was lisa And just like lori, she's a real dick pleaser My girlfriend's name was michelle, I freaked her well Her p**y got hotter than flames in hell I geed this girl, her name was tammy I didn't wanna do it cause the b**h was flammy She had a best friend, her name was jane I pulled to the side and I spitted that game I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine Freaked one night with a girl named pam The very next day I saw her with her man One week pa**ed and I was in her again I had an old tender, her name was janie She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen She likes to freak, she's just a fiend It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans I wanna big freak, fat and slobby I kick on back and I watch her mouth Two tons of fun, big mama jama A country-girl from alabama I met this girl, her name was betty Her p**y got wet and it smelled like d**h I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat But I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath Bake and shake us, I met this freak in vegas She said her name was donna She was a pitty little freak from china I said I don't pimp or gigolo I'm havin' so much money that I don't need a hoe You can break yourself but you can't break me You never met a player like $hort, baby I knew a dick s**er named betty-jo Took her to my home and we did it on the floor The girl got freaky and I tell you more: She was down on her knees beggin' to blow She's like another freak named ren` You get her alone and she'll make your day Like burger king, she knows the play But a freak like ren`, you can have it your way... These are the tales, the freaky tales... These are the tales that I tell so well... I met this girl, thick as hell Only sixteen, said her name was linell I took her to my house, I could not wait Her sh** was much tighter than central safe Let me tell you this since we talkin' young I met another girl, said her name was yvonne Always talkin' about havin' fun Once again in the bed I got it goin' on I'm sir too $hort, couldn't be no punk I try to get funky like female funk So when you see me comin' or see me goin' I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' I once met a tender, she did it for free On the foothill bust number forty-three All the way on the back she was workin' me Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat I met this freak named aunt winell Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet Everythin' she had is what I get Cause I'm too $hort, baby, I don't play that sh** I met another freak, her name was rita Baby thought that $hort just might eat her I told her like this, she can s** my peter Or even go home cause I knew I didn't need her Scratched her name off my telephone book Never again I took a second look Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon She kept lookin', well, I kept stairin' Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' She never left, she cutted out I know you all know what I'm talkin' about There's a freak named shane, such a sinner She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner Shane is cool but her mind is gone One fat rock and it's goin' on She had another buddy, came by my place Thick a** b**h, said her name was grace She walked in the door wearin' a lace You shoulda seen that look that was on my face She's like this tender named belinda Homeboys call her belinda the blender She gave head like she made it up She was twenty years old with a big round bu*t Had a girl slick like olive oil Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled When she got mad he blood would boil But I rapped her off like I'm lookin' a toy... These are the tales, the freaky tales... The tales that I tell so well... Shockedy life, friday night, it's goin' on too $hort Three weeks ago I met this freak She followed me around like mary's sheep I hitted around the corner and when she came I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name She said it was nina and her man's in santa rita I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her Set her on the way the very next way Playboy $hort was ready to play I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne We hitted the motel and got it goin' on Holiday inn to the break of dawn When I took baby home, I freaked her mom I knew this tender named shanie I took her to the house and let her freak on me Baby was a fan, she loved my beat But I wouldn't raise my leg to let her kiss my feet I met this freak named yolanda Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda I was on top and she was up under The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder I once had a datewith girl named kitty She was so fine with big fat tiddies All night long she was actin' sh**ty So I macked on baby like I was frank nitti There's another girl, her name is rose I use to roll baby like brand new volvos I never saw rose wearin' clothes She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose I was ridin' down the street when I met janet Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it Tried to poem it but I could not manage I had this freak, her name was bunny Said I was the only man who ever called her honey Everythin' I did to her was funny I macked on bunny and I took her money Eight tonight a date with shirlie She was really short and her hair was curly If you saw baby you liked this girlie She was so fine I went to get her early Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named rachel Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal She liked to kiss all on my neval Those are her lips on top of my label I knew another freak, her name was candy Real big lips and they came in handy I smooth got worked and it was so dandy I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy He did me a favor in return Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne Baby got tossed and I got it on I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song My young homeboy heard me rap And said he had way more freaks than that So I told him like this: they might be freakin' But, boy, you never had that t-p-treatment...