Tony Goldmark - Cocteau lyrics

KYLE: No one remembers the name Jean Cocteau Buried by cels and by ink I'm here to praise and reclaim Jean Cocteau And his fable for those who can THINK! A poet, a painter, a playwright and more It breaks my artistic morale At line-dancing cutlery, they shout “encore!” But they overlook l'original! No one plots like Cocteau Frames his shots like Cocteau Makes his pa**ions your everyday thoughts like Cocteau! For he makes lucid, elegant tableaus Mythic and wondrous to see! Why, just ask Edith, Igor or Pablo And they'll point out the man who's the toast of Paris! No one plays like Cocteau Spins a phrase like Cocteau Fills your gaze with amazing ballets like Cocteau! JERK: And for THAT he gets critics ejaculating? KYLE: Don't judge my kinks OR Cocteau! CHORUS: He's dull and weird! He's overwrought! KYLE: But look at this petrified fountain of thought! (spoken) CHORUS: ...huh? SPAZZ MASTER: Kyle, it's water. How high ARE your brows? KYLE: No one's style's like Cocteau None beguile like Cocteau Makes us view through the eyes of a child like Cocteau His response to the bourgeoisie's high-hat Was to spell out his fairy tale tone JERK: Can't believe Michael Bay hasn't tried that! MICHAEL BAY: Y'know, KIDS think this movie makes sense! KID: No we don't JERK: No one bores like Cocteau Causes snores like Cocteau Depicts women as gold-diggin' who*es like Cocteau! His effects are so old they need carbon dating! *spit* to this snob Jean Cocteau! KYLE: When he was a youth with the Russian ballet He had barely inscribed a few lines But in his old age the Academie Francaise Consecrated his Orphic designs! (spoken) JERK: Hey, you can't say “Orphic” here! KYLE: No, I mean... JERK: You watch your f**ing mouth! WE ARE IN fu*kING DISNEYLAND MOTHERfu*kA! KYLE: No one beams like Cocteau Writes their themes like Cocteau As his schemes seem to gleam in your dreams like Cocteau! For there ne'er was a man who's as JERK: OVERRATED! KYLE: I'll say it again He's as good with a pen As he is with a play Or a film, he'll convey With his mirrors and gloves All the things that he loves Sing his praise from Calais to Bordeaux! There's just one great auteur whose whole work is secured! And his name's C-O-C- (JERK snickers) KYLE: C-O-C… JERK: ...K… KYLE: C-O-C-T- JERK: K! KYLE: C-O-C-K oh, f** it. COCTEAU!