Tommy Krasker - 'Tween a Rock an' a Hard Place lyrics

[ED BISHOP?] Floyd's in trouble, that's fer sure, But I's in much worse, 'Fore he could shave! So don't talk to me 'bout brave [DOYLE?] I used to go for caves and stuff Back when I was scrawny enough to get down in there Thought I'd be a billionaire [BISHOP] Once when I was underground I heard an awesome sound Above my head Thought for sure I's dead In a flash and like a flood Boulders, rocks and sand and mud Smashed me down (I do declare!) Uh huh! I cussed and screamed and hollered and swore, Goddamn, I almost tore my arm off To do it But that's how you get through it It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done 'Tween a rock an' a hard place I've been there plenty of'en 'Tween a rock an' a hard place An' I ain't in a coffin! If you look d**h right in the face The hardest place'll soften! That's where I thrive, I'm still alive At the reaper I'm a-scoffin', I'm a-scoffin' Ooh... [JEWELL] Well now Bishop, I'm impressed! I didn't know that you was blessed With such a fine imagination But I had a tougher situation: One day I'm fishin' in my boat Fall asleep an' I start to float Down the river (Aww!) (Like a baby in a cradle) Shut up! When I wake, the water's white It takes me all my might To keep from flippin' Round n' round she's whippin' 'Fore I even have time to think, Bobbin' around, in the drink Cascadin' down, to the brink Of a waterfall One hundred fifty-five foot tall I thought— if I'm goin' straight to hell You know what Lord, I might as well Enjoy it some! 'Cause Devil, here I come! I said— Hee hee hee Da dee dee dee dee dee! Ooh! [ALL] Ah dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee de de-doo [JEWELL] I must'a had a pretty good landin' 'Cause here I am, before you standin' Am I not? I'm tough as snot [ALL] It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done. [DOYLE, spoken] God damn, I was a soldier I'ma make you pansies hold your breath (My good granny, Doyle, now you goin' tell us that you was a soldier?) Let me tell you somethin' about d**h. (sung) Nineteen hundred seventeen: Met the Germans, they was mean On the battlefield. Thought my fate was sealed Shot a hole clean through my stomach Weren't much left to my stomach When they was done, Thought they had the battle won! Couldn't move an inch, couldn't get away, Gushin' like a pig on slaughter day, Didn't look like no bouquet of daffodils —No sir! The day was comin' closer With my last mortar shell I blew those Germans back to hell Where they belong! Correct me if I'm wrong— [ALL] It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done And by damn it was fun! (Everybody now!) 'Tween a rock an' a hard place I been there plenty often 'Tween a rock an' a hard place An' I ain't in a coffin! You look d**h right in the face The hardest place'll soften That's where I thrive, I'm still alive At the reaper I'm a-scoffin', I'm a-scoffin'!