I'm dating a call girl My best friend's a stripper it seems (Yeah, sounds good) I'm dating a call girl My best friend's a stripper it seems (Yeah, sounds good) I thought when I'm older that my hair would turn blond and grow to my shoulders (It didn't, wrong) I'm dating a call girl My best friend's a dealer it seems Sounds good, sounds nice, sounds nice I thought I'd turn blond Before I was wrong (wrong) Let's start this king kong (Pause, hey) Yo my kids don't like me My wife got huge (fat) I'm far away from sand and brunettes with big tubes (blues) Got no career (no) and money talks over here (yeah) I went to prom my cumberbund was a beautiful sheer And flowers matched I was as cold as a ice patch I used to watch side out and dream of changing my name to Zach My garden's blinds Volleyball practice in bronze Me and beavis was free as Anthony Kiedis stuck in Chicago Sloppy joes or hard tacos? Some rule snow and ice for the rest of the shrubs Who needs LA right? Southern Cal and neon stripes shakes and brunettes And wonderful volleyballs I'm dating a call girl My best friend's a dealer too (f** it) I thought when I'm older that my hair would turn blond and grow to my shoulders (It didn't go longer) Let's go We teach the horse special Quiver won't quell start some sh** over Intimidating blond male Out of bounds my serve cells (damn it) Met bathing suits little breast sweat (yeah) Booths walking off cramps One spike the whole place got amped (Yes) A dive (uh huh) installed them boss Served wide (yes) with everything you got (yes) Great digs and beautiful blocks (yes) You win the tournament (yes) I won't go (no) To go with this sh** (no) is permanent like (no) My wife, she's huge It's like she ate a tire, sh** (Yeah, you look good, you look good, baby) My kids are terrible... serious (forest fires, out of control raging homicidal...) And I'm f**ing a call girl (Hey baby why don't you s** down...) I thought when I'm older I would turn blond Darkest king kong, now boy I was wrong