To Kill Achilles - Something To Remember Me By lyrics

It all started july 9th, 2018 when i woke up on my 25th birthday and realized i couldn't face the day without reaching for a drink I had nothing to care for, no one to care about, no direction in life A passion with no talent That's when i turned to the mirror and noticed that the cracks in my skin started to form I'm getting old I guess a glimmer of hope appeared when i was offered a chance to follow my {?} career But it just made me feel so alone So i turned back to the mirror and continued to watch the cracks in my skin grow This failed being was my deepest anxiety What if i die alone So, i just scoffed, leaving home I turned to god just for someone to talk to I never believed before and i still don't But it was nice to say it out loud At least there was one constant thing that kept me grounded and that was her I wrote her a letter to explain how i hoped she'd never leave By this point i realized i had become a burden to everyone around me One thing stuck in my head, no man told asked for help I began to remember my father who passed when i was young And i started to think perhaps it's my turn With such thoughts of death in my head, i started to realize I was already dead cause i was alone I pictured my ideal heaven Just a beach i grew up in With all of the people that i used to know And i began to think of my mother And i began to think i want to see her again So i guess now this is just something to leave behind I'm a mento, a token, or just something to remember me by