Timothy Alan - Shia's Log: Day 11 lyrics

Day 11. November 2, 2012. 9:00 pm. ….I'm sorry in advance if my handwriting seems shaky or unbalanced. I'm writing this in total disbelief at what has happened today. I… I still can't even believe it. My brain is scrambling for any excuse it can provide to make this make sense. I keep questioning if I'm just having a bad dream, pinching myself occasionally to make sure, and it seems that this isn't a nightmare. You know what, I take that back. Yes, it is. The only difference is that this nightmare is happening while my eyes are open. I awoke in a well-deserved fit of rage because of what I wrote yesterday. I was fully ready to confront this dastardly stealer of food and tell her that the inn was full and to check the manger for more space, when my brother, my sweet little brother, came to me and confessed. He informed me that he had been putting food aside for them. That he and Dana had prepared to leave the café and find her sister and brother alone. I wasn't sure what to be angrier about. My little brother trying to leave the comfort of this shelter without telling me, the fact he was running away with HER, ready to risk his life and put himself in danger despite not knowing her longer than a few days, or finding out the only family member I have left in this hellhole is a thief. I asked him why. Why he would even think of doing something like this. I asked him what I did to deserve this. I asked what in God's name was his brain thinking telling him that traveling outside in a Thy-Trip infested world alongside a green-eyed Siren was a good idea. He only stood in silence, refusing to answer me, refusing to look me in my eyes, which I admit were starting to fill with tears. I think I'be earned the right to cry. And then I asked him the most important question of all: whose stupid idea this was. He a**ured me that this was all his plan and that Dana had nothing to do with it, but I could see lies residing in those soft little eyes of his. I've raised my brother practically his whole life so I know when he's lying. His voice goes quieter than usual, and he shifts his weight from foot to foot God, how much grief could a little girl cause? He told me that he was telling me all of this as a way of saying goodbye, that it wouldn't be right for him to sneak out and leave me in question, and that they'd be leaving at midnight. I'll buy a one bedroom apartment in hell before I let my little brother walk out of here without me, without any sort of protection. I see now what I have to do. What would you do? Let your last glimmer of hope and love walk through the godforsaken city streets with a girl that only has her own selfishness in mind? If you said yes, I'm sorry, but I'm not you. Elliot, if you ever read this, just know what I'm about to do is for the safety of both of us. I know you'll hate me at first, but we're family. And I'd be lying if I said we wouldn't have our disagreements. I love you, little brother. Shia.