Thomas Z. Shepard - A Little Priest lyrics

[MRS. LOVETT] That's all very well, but what are we going to about the Italian? [TODD] Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him out of the trunk and bury him [MRS. LOVETT] Well, yes, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose he's got any relatives gonna come poking around looking for him. But you know me, bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking... Seems a downright shame [TODD] Shame? [MRS. LOVETT] Seems an awful waste Such a nice plump frame What's his name has… had… has Nor he can't be traced Business needs a lift Debts to be erased Think of it as thrift As a gift If you get my drift No? Seems an awful waste I mean, with the price of meat What it is When you get it If you get it [TODD] Ha! [MRS. LOVETT] Good, you got it Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop Business never better, using only p**ycats and toast And a p**y's good for maybe six or seven at the most And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste [TODD] Mrs. Lovett What a charming notion Eminently practical And yet appropriate as always [MRS. LOVETT] Well, it does seem a waste Mrs. Lovett How I've lived without you all these years I'll never know How delectable Also undetectable How choice How rare [MRS. LOVETT] Think about it, lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave, won't they? Think of All them Pies [TODD] For what's the sound of the world out there [MRS. LOVETT] What, Mr. Todd What, Mr. Todd What is that sound [TODD] Those crunching noises pervading the air [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around [TODD] It's man devouring man, my dear [TODD/MRS. LOVETT] And who are we to deny it in here? [TODD] Ah, these are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett. Desperate measure must be taken [MRS. LOVETT] Here we are now, hot out of the oven [TODD] What is that? [MRS. LOVETT] It's priest Have a little priest [TODD] Is it really good? [MRS. LOVETT] Sir, it's too good, at least! Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh So it's pretty fresh [TODD] Awful lot of fat [MRS. LOVETT] Only where it sat [TODD] Haven't you got poet, or something like that? [MRS. LOVETT] No, y'see, the trouble with poet is How do you know it's deceased? Try the priest! [TODD] Mm, heavenly! Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but then not as bland as curate, either! [MRS. LOVETT] And good for business, too; always leaves you wantin' more! Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays! Lawyer's rather nice [TODD] If it's for a price [MRS. LOVETT] Order something else, though, to follow Since no one should swallow it twice! [TODD] Anything that's lean? [MRS. LOVETT] Well, then, if you're British and loyal You might enjoy Royal Marine Anyway, it's clean Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been! [TODD] Is that squire On the fire? [MRS. LOVETT] Mercy no, sir, look closer You'll notice it's grocer! [TODD] Looks thicker More like vicar! [MRS. LOVETT] No, it has to be grocer It's green! [TODD] The history of the world, my love [MRS. LOVETT] Save a lot of graves Do a lot of relatives favors! [TODD] Is those below serving those up above! [MRS. LOVETT] Ev'rybody shaves So there should be plenty of flavors! [TODD] How gratifying for once to know [TODD/MRS. LOVETT] That those above will serve those down below! [MRS. LOVETT] Now let's see, here... We've got tinker [TODD] Something... pinker [MRS. LOVETT] Tailor? [TODD] Paler [MRS. LOVETT] Potter? [TODD] Hotter [MRS. LOVETT] Butler? [TODD] Subtler [MRS. LOVETT] Locksmith? Lovely bit of clerk [TODD] Maybe for a lark [MRS. LOVETT] Then again there's sweep If you want it cheap And you like it dark! Try the financier Peak of his career! [TODD] That looks pretty rank [MRS. LOVETT] Well, he drank It's a bank Cashier Never really sold Maybe it was old [TODD] Have you any Beadle? [MRS. LOVETT] Next week, so I'm told! Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and Notice 'ow well it's been greased... Stick to priest! Now then, this might be a little bit stringy But then of course it's... fiddle player! [TODD] No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player! [MRS. LOVETT] How can you tell? [TODD] It's piping hot! [MRS. LOVETT] Then blow on it first! [TODD] The history of the world, my sweet [MRS. LOVETT] Oh, Mr. Todd Ooh, Mr. Todd What does it tell? [TODD] Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat! [MRS. LOVETT] And, Mr. Todd Too, Mr. Todd Who gets to sell! [TODD] But fortunately, it's also clear [MRS. LOVETT/TODD] That ev'rybody goes down well with beer! [MRS. LOVETT] Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about... rear admiral? [TODD] Too salty. I prefer general [MRS. LOVETT] With, or without his privates? With is extra [TODD] What is that? [MRS. LOVETT] It's fop Finest in the shop Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered With actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun Here's the politician, so oily It's served with a doily Have one! [TODD] Put it on a bun Well, you never know if it's going to run! [MRS. LOVETT] Try the friar Fried, it's drier! [TODD] No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy! [MRS. LOVETT] Then actor It's compacter! [TODD] Yes and always arrives overdone! I'll come again when you have judge on the menu [MRS. LOVETT] Wait, true, we don't have judge yet But we've got something you might fancy even better [TODD] What is that? [MRS. LOVETT] Executioner! [TODD] Have charity towards the world, my pet! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, yes, I know, my love! [TODD] We'll take the customers that we can get! [MRS. LOVETT] High-born and low, my love! [TODD] We'll not discriminate great from small! No, we'll serve anyone Meaning anyone! [MRS. LOVETT/TODD] And to anyone! At all!