They Might Be Giants - You Are Old, Father William lyrics

You are old, Father William, the young man said And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head Do you think, at your age, it is right? In my youth," Father William replied to his son I feared it might injure the brain; But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none Why, I do it again and again I am old, I am old, I will tell you again I am old You are old, said the youth, As I mentioned before And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door Pray, what is the reason of that? In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his grey locks I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment, one shilling the box Allow me to sell you a couple? I am old, I am old, It's a statement in fact, I am old You are old, said the youth, And your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak Pray, how did you manage to do it? In my youth, said his father, I took to the law And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life I am old, I am old, there's not much more to say I am old You are old, said the youth, one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose What made you so awfully clever? I have answered three questions, and that is enough Said his father; "don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs! Down stairs, Down stairs Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!