I knew of two sisters whose name it was Christmas And one was named Dawn, of course the other one was named Eve I wonder if they grew up hating the season The good will that lasts till the Feast of Saint Stephen For that is the time to eat, drink and be merry Till the beer is all spilled and the whiskey has flowed And the whole family tree you neglected to bury Are feeding their faces until they explode There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias Mixed up with that drink made from girders 'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath Ah, it's nice for the kids as you finally get rid of them In the Saint Stephen's Day Murders Uncle is garglin' a heart-breakin' air While the babe in his arms pulls out all that remains of his hair And we're not drunk enough yet to dare criticise The great big kipper tie he's about to baptize His gin-flavoured whiskers and kisses of sherry His best Crimble shirt slung out over the shop While the lights from the Christmas tree blow up the telly His face closes in like an old, cold pork chop And the carca** of the beast that remains from the feast May still be found haunting the kitchen And there's life in it yet, we may live to regret When the ones that we poisoned stop twitchin' There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias Mixed up with that drink made from girders 'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath Ah, it's nice for the kids, as you finally get rid of them In the Saint Stephen's Day Murders There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias Mixed up with that drink made from girders 'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath Ah, it's nice for the kids, as you finally get rid of them In the Saint Stephen's Day Murders