It hurts sometimes to think about how far away this is from what you'd hoped for. The way things were supposed to stay. And though you learned a lesson and you took it with grace, I wish I could stop the cold hand of reality from hitting you in the face. But there is no sparkling clean solution. And sh** isn't just gonna get resolved in a half an hour, with special guest stars and pearls of wisdom. So let's not kid ourselves here. You and I were swindled by an image that was so tantalizing and real that I could almost taste it. But now the stench of failure is worse than anything. It permeates everything I do. And I'm starting to realize that I'd rather have nothing than have a lie, and sitting waiting for a life that's already pa**ed me by.