The String Cheese Incident - Resumé Man lyrics

Well, a funny thing happened at a gig the other day when a man approached me with a resumé Said, "If you need any help then I'm your man" He said, "I'll work the door and I'll load your beer When you boys get thirsty I'll go for beer And if it ever breaks down I can even fix your van." I asked the guy what he did for work I saw a twinkle in his eye and he gave a little smirk He said "I work right down the road, I got a melon stand I'm set up in a shady spot I sell watermelons and a little bit of pot. Last year I made damn near thirty grand." He said, "I need a change and I love your sound And I sure would like to get out of this town Dedicate myself to a rock 'n' roll band I've been a race car mechanic and a bodyguard I'm a C.P.A. and I'll work really hard Hire me on, I can see you boys need a hand" "You know I've done it all and I've been around I've had a lot of good jobs, seen a lot of rough towns I'd like to offer you my services for hire I was a cook in the Army and I drove a jeep I had an 80-acre ranch where I ran some sheep I sang ba** in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man If he can't do it, I don't know who can Says right here he's qualified 50 years on the job and the man's only 45 But things started to get a little bit weird When he stared at Mike and took a swig of beer And said, "What's with the lady, 'cause she really blows my mind." I knew the man was qualified He'd worked a hundred different jobs and done 'em all with pride But he wasn't exactly the help we had hoped to find He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man If he can't do it, I don't know who can Says right here he's qualified 50 years on the job and the man's only 45 He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man If he can't do it, I don't know who can Says right here he's qualified 50 years on the job and the man's only 45