William's my friend; he'll never change He's my friend the outlaw at home on the range He wears his hair long in a neat ponytail To prove he's still searching for sweet holy grail He has wise blood; I hear it travel his veins His heart beats in Texas all wrapped up in chains And when he's home he must be what he seems But when he's with me he plays for the other team And I've seen him play; everyone's his best friend Out of sight, out of mind; love letters never sent And when he's home his dance card is full But when he's with me he plays by his own rules William, run home--go wash your face Run away home; touch every base Run away home. But, William, don't stay 'Cause, William, I love to watch while you play And when you're home they won't let you fail They'll send you off searching for sweet holy grail