(Spoken) Statler: It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow men Waldorf: And if that spirit goes not forth in life, he is condemned to do so after d**h Statler: To witness what he can not share, but might have shared and turned to happiness (Singing) Both: We're Marley and Marley. Avarice and greed Statler: We took advantage of the poor. Just ignored the needy Both: We specialized in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt Waldorf: And if you could not pay the rent, we simply threw you out (Spoken) Waldorf: There was the year we evicted the entire orphanage! Statler: I remember the little tykes all standing in the snow bank Waldorf: With their little frostbitten teddy bears! Both: (laugh) Ooooh (Singing) Both: We're Marley and Marley. Our hearts were painted black Statler: We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles Both: Captive, bound, we're double-ironed, exhausted by the weight Statler: As freedom comes from giving love Waldorf: So, prison comes with hate Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo (Spoken) Waldorf: True, there was something about mankind we loved Statler: I think it was their money! Both: (laugh) (Singing) Both: Doomed, Scrooge! You're doomed for all time! Waldorf: Your future is a horror story, written by your crime Both: Your chains are forged by what you say and do Ghosts: So, have your fun; when life is done, a nightmare waits for you Waldorf: Funny? Statler: Money? Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo Both: We're Marley and Marley and now it's time to part Waldorf: To go back where they keep our kind Statler: The wretched and the heartless Waldorf: The news we shared has got you scared Statler: We're glad that we got through Waldorf: So make amends Statler: And make some friends Both: The future's up to you! Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo Both: We're Marley and Marley Ghosts: Whoooooo All:Change!