I want to be real cool I don't want to follow the schedule I want to eat my TV set I want to smell like aqua net I want to know the human race I want to rub it all over my face Life is such a f**ing joke I want to laugh until I choke Thought I saw you when I closed my eyes But it was just an order of fries Thought I loved you yesterday But it was just a TV tray I want to meet the Aspirin lady I want to talk to Peter Brady I want to be on my own I want to be fully grown I want to be a celebrity I want to be like Mr. T Won't let people f** with me Every night on TV