The Mooney Suzuki - Good Ol' Alcohol lyrics

I remember back in high school Getting high was tons of fun It's much easier to score some weed than to drink Before you're twenty-one At that age, I thought alcohol was square Drinking's something just old folks do ‘Course if we got our hands on some, well hell We'll drink like old folks too It's different now when you get older And you're gettin' on in your years I've become so much more civilized Since movin' on to spirits and beers So today if I wanna act an a** And gag, puke, stagger and fall I'm gonna do it at the trusted hands Of Good Ol' Alcohol That Good Ol' Alcohol One more before last call Can make you feel a mile high If you've been feeling small Yes, every now and then I'll call upon my friend That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol When I younger, my thing was hippy d** Like hashish, caps and lids Had dugout with ZoSo written on it Where I kept my one-hitter hid Amphetamine just wasn't my speed And c**aine would make you go broke But man o' man I sure could go for that Marijuana smoke I'd use a bong or bowl or rollin' papers Or any other smoke component Then I'd rip right through two boxes of Entenmann's coffee cake covered donuts And if you found yourself stranded With no paraphernalia at all You could always poke some holes Through empty cans of alcohol That Good Ol' Alcohol Finds you in the bathroom stall With your face inside the toilet Curled up in a little ball Yet, once you've done my friend You'll come runnin' back again For some Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol The mescaline you scored at Sheep's Meadow Looked like little candy Nerds That sh**'ll make you crap your pants And backward speak your words Ate an eighth of psychedelic mushrooms At my buddy's girlfriend's place Listened to Electric Ladyland three times over again With a strobe light in my face Then there was LSD, some double dipped And some were window pane Some Bart Simpsons, some blue unicorn And ahhh some of them just plain Twelve hours later trying to get high On shake, seeds and stems will do, f** all Only way to ease that come down's With some Good Ol' Alcohol That Good Ol' Alcohol When the Doctor pays a call He may offer you some Percocet Or even Demerol Yet, when you're high and dry Nothing else will get you by Like some Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol There will come one morning after When you will wake up and you will say God damn, I'm gettin' too old for this What time is it and what day Where are all my God damn clothes And where's my wallet, shoes and keys Where the God damn hell am I And God damn it hurts when I try to pee Now my liver's limp, synapses spent My nerve endings are fried Got through many a trying night, the kind where Stronger men have died But I've seen it Smelled it Ate it Tasted it Lit it Hit it Chased it Wasted it Puffed it Huffed it Dosed and toasted it Rolled it Sold it And tin foil bowled it I've smoked Poked Copped Popped Mixed Fixed Chopped Dropped Licked Kicked Toked Choked Tweaked and Peaked And woke and boke I've scored it And hoared it I've snorted it And sorted it I've slipped it Lipped it Sipped it and roach clipped it I've cleaned it and fiended it I've laced it and tasted it I've dipped it and chewed it Zig zaged and bambooed it I've cold turkey I've restarted I've discarded And I've bogarted it I've taken it I've shaken it I've stirred it And slurred it And blurred it All And there ain't a God damn thing I trust as much As Good Ol' Alcohol That Good Ol' Alcohol One more before last call Can make you feel a mile high If you've been feeling small Yes, every now and then I'll call upon my friend That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol' Alcohol Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em