There is a house in Penang So well known to the old gang Brace yourselves, take up the slack In our mouths, the rubber bits Then exposed whereon one sits First the swish and then the crack (Chorus) I've a predilection, a liking for the pain Of a taste of the cat and a touch of cane Oh, play up, play up and play the game Had the preference since school Simply had to break the rules Short sharp shocks, ah, swish, swish, swish Shirt tails up, long shorts down In a sleazy part of town Broke a tooth? - then make a wish (Chorus) Much it costs, this little treat It's the high point of the week One more drink - anaesthetised It's a very private show Over the table we now go Perk your bottoms and roll your eyes (Chorus)