The Macc Lads - Helen of Fowey lyrics

Got me tanktop with the budgie front, party on at Vinny's Oxford bags, so I looked a c*nt, but the party's nearly finished Nowt to drink but Noilly Prat, Babycham or Snowball Nowt to shag but something fat on holiday from Cornwall The face that lunched on a thousand chips Seventeen hairs in the wart on her bottom lip But I knew I had to give it a shag, or she'd go home thinking I'm a screaming handbag. Didn't know which way up she was, I said: 'Fart and give us a clue, love.' She said back at hers she had some beer, 'and a bottle of Clandew, love.' I got dead pissed, she looked quite fit, she looked like someone famous, I fumbled about, but my aim was out, I stuffed it up her an*s She picked her arse as she lay bare, digging out the bits of bogroll in her an*l hair I knew I had to give it a shag, now she'll go home thinking I'm a screaming handbag Got out of bed to have a piss, and something really shocked us, A yellow growth on my bell end, I legged it down the doctor's This is what you get when you tunnel test, its yellow and deformed; But it wasn't clap, or owt like that, but a f***ing piece of sweetcorn