The Handsome Family - Drunk By Noon lyrics

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy, but he lived in a cage the size of his thumb. And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks, he galloped around until hit by a car. Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird just to remind myself I'll never fly. Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes just to pretend I won't scream when I die. Sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer. At least then I'll get to watch tv all day. And on my d**hbed I'll get all the answers even if all my questions are taken away. If my life was as long as the moon's, I'd still be jealous of the sun. If my life lasted only one day, I'd still be drunk by noon.