The Former Fat Boys - The Legend Of Hard Corey lyrics

Hard corey, he's got guns He's gon k** everyone Hard corey, locked and loaded co*ked and bloated Where's he goin Hard corey he's got swords He's coming for my a** and yours No one's safe cept cuddly things NOT hard corey's out to k** everything Hard corey's waving nun chucks Smacking bad guys, grabbing dumb s*uts He's so hard, yet he's so soft I offer help, but get waved off Hard corey's co*kslapping people A sideways church, swinging its steeple Smacks one moves on does it again Please allow me to introduce, ladies and gentlemen This is the tale, this is the story This is the legend of hard corey Leaps tall buildings in a single plane They call him hard corey cuz that's his name Get out of his way cuz his mind is warped Played to many video games and not enough sports And he's got a sword he won't be ignored he's f**ed up Slashing, gashing caffeine doped up And his mom says no But she's ignored Hard corey keeps on Cuz this is war Rural areas farms and such Cows chickens giraffes corn cobs for lunch Taking out towns, follows his hunch Innocent civilians knocked out with one punch k**s a bunch, pauses his hunt Finds the scent, hard corey's works never done Moves on looking for more fun Heads westward towards the setting sun Look out everyone, best get moving Hard corey's superhuman, never losin Always hard, in your backyard You can't run or hide if he's pulled your card Corey's a rebel not giving a sh** Puts on his gla**es sees the world in 8 bit Fingerblast your b**h, like he was captain N Only watches reruns what's happenin He's blastin cats, while he's tappin a** b**hes don't stand a chance in his habitat Inspect that p**y he's a wise a** owl Always askin me why i'm so low brow Dick's low to ground so low key Lord of f** doing miracles for free Raising the dead with surreal beats Hard corey's for dinner, he beats your meat More sped up then dennis quaid Stuck inside your head like its innerspace The kids crazy, the kids racous The kids nuts, they hang out when he's walking Through his shorts or his pants, its doesn't matter which Drags em on the cement if they starts to itch Twirls em round his head like a bolo whip Then he poof disappears like he's tygra's kid And his mom's cheetarah cuz he sees the past Losin his hair's all part of the plan Part lex luthor part clark kent The first bald superman frank miller presents The future of heroes, the real dark knight Muhammad ali, george bush, vanilla ice Hard corey vs. them and iron mike You tell who me who would win in a fight The odds are sick, the bets are big The crowrd goes wild when he enters the ring He's k**s all comers, then k**s don king Hits the buffet and doesn't leave a thing Leads his horse to a river, makes it drink Makes its walk, makes it stand up, makes it fart even makes it talk Behind his beard ain't another fist just a bunch of chins Sidekick out of nowhere cuz he's stealing this schtick Chuck norris walks in feeling kinda cliche Corey rips his throat out, and walks away Body destroyed like corey planned this Chuck reunited with jonathan brandis Sheaths the kitana he brandished Ninja vanish, like tatsu, except corey dances Hard corey doesn't sleep he masturbates Surround by a hundred hoes with tiny waists And the girls crowd around get it all on they face Cuz he eats pineapple for the aftertaste And i'm gonna be his sidekick so i'm lifting weights And i bought a couple suits alls we need is capes