The Fiery Furnaces - Cut the Cake lyrics

When I heard the news I nearly lost my breath My heart stopped And I held my chest How could it be true, how could it be true? I bought ten copies of the paper Tried to buy them all But they wouldn't let me How could it be true, how could it be true? Cut out the clip And wallpapered my wall I took it to work To make copies so I could paper the whole house How could it be true, how could it be true? I scanned it too So I could show it to my out-of-town friends I wrote a letter to the editor To give praise and a mention To the names they forgot And the answers they didn't question And those answers they didn't question So what's one to do With all this fame and glory Hire a PR firm To tell the rest of the story How could it be true, how could it be true? Write it down quick So I can make the 4 o'clock news I know it's only local But if it's what they choose We'll celebrate over dinner, Maybe dancing too How could it be true, how could it be true? Who cut the cake? Without any warning Who cut the cake? With my special knife Into tiny little pieces for every fella's wife