Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game I stuck around St. Petersburg When I saw it was a time for a change k**ed the czar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain I rode a tank Held a general's rank When the blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name Ah, what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game I watched with glee While your kings and queens Fought for ten decades For the gods they made I shouted out "Who k**ed the Kennedys?" When after all It was you and me Let me please introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste And I laid traps for troubadours Who get k**ed before they reached Bombay Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name But what's confusing you Is just the nature of my game Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer Cause I'm in need of some restraint So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politesse Or I'll lay your soul to waste Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game