The Coastals - Starstruck lyrics

I've been held up And thought that I was tough And I've been pulled down And thought myself too weak to hold myself up Just not good enough A million failures I have dreamed of I've seen myself Treating others well But I've seen myself Hurting those I love with cruel attacks I'm not proud of that So many things I've said I would take back So now starstruck and seeing double I say goodbye, so long, and farewell To these fatal ways of mine I have been bold and faced down the unknown But I've been afraid Of letting go of blades that I know too well They're sickness, they're health With them or without them I rebel So now starstruck and seeing double I say goodbye, so long, and farewell To these fatal ways of mine So now starstruck and seeing double I'm dumbstruck always making trouble And lock stock, bullet barrel I'm living out a life imperiled So nuts, bolts, brick and mortar I'm making sense out of disorder I just can't do it all in a day I've seen myself Go with grace through hell But I've seen that I Can fall apart without a reason to fail To sink or to sail To burn white hot or smolder blue and cool