If the toilet blows I'll fix it If the AC goes I'm gone It came in on the Mayflower With a rattle and a hum You can hang up on me You can call this dumb I'm on my way to Chardonnay And acting like a bum It's your way or the highway I'd rather do it my way Even though I haven't Thought a damn thing through I'm a woman on a mission To change my disposition I'd bet on me to win If I were you I'd bet on me to win If I were you The bathroom wall at Buc-ee's Seemed to say it all I don't remember what I read It's the feeling I recall I got my big girl panties on But now and then they bunch My laundry's on the table My words can pack a punch It's your way or the highway I'd rather do it my way Even though I haven't Thought a damn thing through I'm a woman on a mission To outlive my disposition I'd bet on me to win If I were you I'd bet on me to win If I were you Our old house is talkin' loud and clear It's gonna bleed us dry Dogs are barkin at the deer And sirens wail on by Your jeans are on the clothesline They walked out on their own I swear you'd never change your pants If you lived alone The freezer had a melt down The septic needs a pump It's football time on TV You'll sit there like a stump You can take the easy chair I'll take my happy pills Down 'em with some Chardonnay And tackle all our bills It's your way or the highway I'd rather do it my way Even though I haven't Thought a damn thing through I'm a woman on a mission To change my disposition I'd bet on me to win If I were you So shut your pie hole And see my point of view I'd bet on me to win If I were you I'd bet on me to win If I were you