Ted Snyder - Scrooge vs The Grinch. Epic Rap Battles of Christmas lyrics

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CHRISTMAS! EBENEZER SCROOGE! VS! THE GRINCH! BEGIN! [Verse 1: The Grinch] Hold on to your hats yeah You better listen up I'm about to drop bombs On your Cindy Lo Who bu*ts Christmas is stupid That endless mountain of toys Spoiled little brats and all that Noise noise noise I'm the master of evil I've got a beautiful plan Me and my dog Max Are gonna rip the joy from this land I'm the Grinch And I'm here to steal Christmas I'm vicious ambitious And comming for your wish list You're on my hit list All your Whoville Who's When I steal all of your toys I'm making front page News No one hates Christmas more than me It's the truth, it's a fact, it's reality [Verse 2: Ebenezer Scrooge] What's this I hear From a slimy green punk? Those rhymes and I quote Stink stank stunk Everyone knows I'm the cla**ic Yuletide miser Compared to me you're some kind of Holiday sympathizer You think you're evil But true evil has cla** It's all about the bling cha-ching the dough And the cash Three piece suit and I'm rocking this scarf You're covered in rags And your breath reeks of barf Go crawl in a hole And decrease the surplus populous The fact is this business is for the Fiscally meticulous How can you claim to be evil When you dress like St. Nicholas You're not even wearing pants That's absolutely ridiculous [Verse 3: The Grinch] That get up's got nothing On my costume tailored green and red You should go quit the bank scene And be a carnie instead What the Dickens are you thinking Wearing a sweater dress to bed? Who does that Only people Who are messed up in the head You're old your hips would break if you tell That arthritis has set Joints have started to swell How are those varicose veins Are they treating you well? People say I stink But everyone know that old person smell Evil is for treasurers and collectors Don't give me those lectures Evil is found in the heart And mine has obvious defectures Quit trying to bore me With your stupid ghost advenctures Go back to bed And don't forget to soak your dentures [Verse 4: Ebenezer Scrooge] You're a mean one But I'm about to get meaner I'll kick an orphan off my doorstep Just to make it a little cleaner I'm a true Ebenezer Sick flow that will make you greener I'm gonna pop lock and drop it In a British demeanor Even though it's midwinter I can still make it rain Your only friend is a dog And you live in a cave, fool Yes I'll admit I've had a haunting or two But when my fist haunts your head I'll make a ghost out of you Wash that ugly off your face And you should start brushing And I'm from England That's saying something What are you some kind of Green mutated chimp? If you wanna know who's more evil I just kicked a kid with a limp [Verse 5: Santa Claus] Ho ho ho! Well I guess it's that time of the year When all the downers come out And try to steal Christmas cheer You better watch out Because now Santa is here And I'm rocking a sleigh And eight tiny reindeer ‘twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Santa wiped the floor with the Old man and the green man With the words out his mouth These yuletide rhymes are prime With a side of cookies and milk You're dropping rap that'd Make a Christmas tree wilt I'm built 4'10” and 404 You're nothing I'm something And everybody knows My bowl full of Jelly starts to jiggle and roll And I'm so full of flow that these bu*tons Are about to go [Verse 6: Elf] Gigantic his frantic antics coming out of Every stereotype you can't plan it Cool nicknacks plastic packs With a lactic act so whack You can't crack Pacific to Atlantic it's his tactic That's the knack no slack [Verse 7: Santa Claus] Making spastic tracks in my boots [Verse 8: Elf] Elastic [Verse 9: Santa Claus] You might hate on Christmas You might hate on Chris Kringle But you know you're just jealous Because you're lonely and single Look at you two you're both just Greedy little boys I wanna exile you both on The Isle of Misfit Toys You try to pretend like you're cold as ice But I checked my list twice And it turns out you're both nice Despite your cold heart And despite your desguises You made Peace with Bob Cratchit Andy your heart grew three sizes Now you both work for me So get back to the shop Little Suzy wants a dolly And Tommy wants a laptop Now I'm in charge here So I'm stopping this fight Merry Christmas to all and to all, a good night WHO WON? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CHRISTMAS!