Tech N9ne - Suicide Letters lyrics

[1st Verse] Picture me In a casket Blasted Never nobody Knew how long The pain lasted Keep my eyes tight I'm frightened But I fights like Tyson When playin' this game of life I'm losing Longing to be enlightened Absorb my mind state Reduce the crime rate And take me out When running toward the Lord I see 'em fake me Out shook me So from church I play hookie Listen to the words of a brother The sick stutters So you better better Get the get the bags ready Comes a k**er k**er Like Skagnetti My brains contaminated Hella rotten Wasn't me that k**ed you Who was it what was it The effects of the mildew My brain's wilted In my eyes the world is a bit tilted Lord take me away Before somebody else gets k**ed Blood spilled Seriously This is the letter to my homies I'll be missin' God told me to behold a pale horse But I didn't listen It's hard man My life is scarred man I'm losing my mind So now it's time Sincerely sign N9NE [Chorus] I just wanna die I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way that I feel I'm barely hanging on I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way it has to be [repeat 2x] [2nd Verse] I made your life a living hell With my infidelity Remember your telling me All I give a damn about Is weed stems and melodies Remember you Spent 30 minutes in the hospital parking lot Crying When the blood test read The baby of another woman was mine 99.99 You should've left Along time ago like Mary J. say Just let it go like Ray J. Con't I know your mamma heard You yelling mayday Spent my life trying to R-A to the P You sick of me Always bein' B to the R-O-K to the E Now there's nothin' Else left of me I was a bum But you still wanted some Through the rain, snow and thunder Foul ups , bleeps and blunders But no man shall tear asunder Is what you said You should've put multi bullets In my head When you found that evil Instinct was a song Where the events actually went on This is the letter To my homie, my friend Who put up with me for 8 So now to take me Really quickly is my fate I'm sorry For making it hard I know your scarred I'm losing my mind So now it's time Sincerely sign N9ne [Chorus] I just want to die I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way that I feel I'm barely hanging on I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way it has to be [repeat 2x] [3rd Verse] I love ya'll The dynamic duo, my babies It ain't your fault That your daddy's crazy Donny, I miss your drumming like me One day you'll be ruling Leelee, I miss you in my face Yellin' Daddy, what you doin' You two are the reason Why I'm still standing today But I'm 1600 miles away And you get my heart sinkin' When I start thinkin' about you babies I heavily start drinkin' On a daily puffin' I'm seeing my heart I gots to toughin' Can't see me leavin' my angels with nothin' So I keep bussin' Use my pain for you two I've gotta come up in the game So one day you can do the same with yours Love you galore And I ain't playin' makin' me put an end To this suicidal mind state sayin' [chorus] I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way I feel I'm barely hanging on I don't want to wake up I don't wanna cuz That's the way it has to be [repeat 2x]