T.S. Eliot - Fragment of an Agon lyrics

DRAMATIS PERSONAE: SWEENEY. WAUCHOPE. HORSFALL. KLIPSTEIN. KRUMPACKER. SWARTS. SNOW. DORIS. DUSTY. (All PRESET IN SCENE) SWEENEY: ....................I'll carry you off To a cannibal isle. DORIS: You'll be the cannibal! SWEENEY: You'll be the missionary! You'll be my little seven stone missionary! I'll gobble you up. I'll be the cannibal. DORIS: You'll carry me off? To a cannibal isle? SWEENEY: I'll be the cannibal. DORIS: ....................I'll be the missionary. I'll convert you! SWEENEY: ....................I'll convert you! Into a stew. A nice little, white little, missionary stew. DORIS: You wouldn't eat me! SWEENEY: ....................Yes I'd eat you! In a nice little, white little, soft little, tender little, Juicy little, right little, missionary stew. You see this egg You see this egg Well that's life on a crocodile isle. There's no telephones There's no gramophones There's no motor cars No two-seaters, no six-seaters, No Citroën, no Rolls-Royce. Nothing to eat but the fruit as it grows. Nothing to see but the palmtrees one way And the sea the other way, Nothing to hear but the sound of the surf. Nothing at all but three things DORIS: ....................What things? SWEENEY: Birth, and copulation, and d**h. That's all, that's all, that's all, that's all, Birth, and copulation, and d**h. DORIS: I'd be bored. SWEENEY: ....................You'd be bored. Birth, and copulation, and d**h. DORIS: I'd be bored. SWEENEY: ....................You'd be bored. Birth, and copulation, and d**h. That's all the facts when you come to bra** tacks: Birth, and copulation, and d**h. I've been born, and once is enough. You dont remember, but I remember, Once is enough. ..............SONG BY WAUCHOPE AND HORSFALL ..............SWARTS AS TAMBO. SNOW AS BONES ....................Under the bamboo ....................Bamboo bamboo ....................Under the bamboo tree ....................Two live as one ....................One live as two ....................Two live as three ....................Under the bam ....................Under the boo ....................Under the bamboo tree. ..................... .Where the breadfruit fall ....................And the penguin call ....................And the sound is the sound of the sea ....................Under the bam ....................Under the boo ....................Under the bamboo tree. ..................... .Where the Gauguin maids ....................In the banyan shades ....................Wear palmleaf drapery ....................Under the bam ....................Under the boo ....................Under the bamboo tree. ..................... .Tell me in what part of the wood ....................Do you want to flirt with me? ....................Under the breadfruit, banyan, palmleaf ....................Or under the bamboo tree? ....................Any old tree will do for me ....................Any old wood is just as good ....................Any old isle is just my style ....................Any fresh egg ....................Any fresh egg ....................And the sound of the coral sea. DORIS: I don't like eggs; I never liked eggs; And I don't like life on your crocodile isle. ..............SONG BY KLIPSTEIN AND KRUMPACKER .....................SNOW AND SWARTS AS BEFORE ....................My little island girl ....................My little island girl ....................I'm going to stay with you ....................And we won't worry what to do ....................We won't have to catch any trains ....................And we won't go home when it rains ....................We'll gather hibiscus flowers ....................For it won't be minutes but hours ....................For it won't be hours but years ....................And the morning ....................And the evening ....................And noontime diminuendo ....................And night ....................Morning ....................Evening ....................Noontime ....................Night DORIS: That's not life, that's no life Why I'd just as soon be dead. SWEENEY: That's what life is. Just is DORIS: ....................What is? What's that life is? SWEENEY: ....................Life is d**h. I knew a man once did a girl in― DORIS: Oh Mr. Sweeney, please dont talk, I cut the cards before you came And I drew the coffin SWARTS: ....................You drew the coffin? DORIS: I drew the COFFIN very last card. I dont care for such conversation A woman runs a terrible risk. SNOW: Let Mr. Sweeney continue his story. I a**ure you, Sir, we are very interested. SWEENEY: I knew a man once did a girl in Any man might do a girl in Any man has to, needs to, wants to Once in a lifetime, do a girl in. Well he kept her there in a bath With a gallon of lysol in a bath SWARTS: These fellows always get pinched in the end. SNOW: Excuse me, they dont all get pinched in the end. What about them bones on Epsom Heath? I seen that in the papers You seen it in the papers They dont all get pinched in the end. DORIS: A woman runs a terrible risk. SNOW: Let Mr. Sweeney continue his story. SWEENEY: This one didn't get pinched in the end But that's another story too. This went on for a couple of months Nobody came And nobody went But he took in the milk and he paid the rent. SWARTS: What did he do? All that time, what did he do? SWEENEY: What did he do! what did he do? That dont apply. Talk to live men about what they do. He used to come and see me sometimes I'd give him a drink and cheer him up. DORIS: Cheer him up? DUSTY: ....................Cheer him up? SWEENEY: Well here again that dont apply But I've gotta use words when I talk to you. But here's what I was going to say. He didn't know if he was alive and the girl was dead He didn't know if the girl was alive and he was dead He didn't know if they both were alive or both were dead If he was alive then the milkman wasn't and the rent-collector wasn't And if they were alive then he was dead. There wasn't any joint There wasn't any joint For when you're alone When you're alone like he was alone You're either or neither I tell you again it dont apply d**h or life or life or d**h d**h is life and life is d**h I gotta use words when I talk to you But if you understand or if you dont That's nothing to me and nothing to you We all gotta do what we gotta do We're gona sit here and drink this booze We're gona sit here and have a tune We're gona stay and we're gona go And somebody's gotta pay the rent DORIS: ....................I know who SWEENEY: But that's nothing to me and nothing to you. FULL CHORUS: WAUCHOPE, HORSFALL, KLIPSTEIN, KRUMPACKER ..................... When you're alone in the middle of the night and you wake in a sweat and a hell of a fright When you're alone in the middle of the bed and you wake like someone hit you on the head You've had a cream of a nightmare dream and you've got the hoo-ha's coming to you. Hoo hoo hoo You dreamt you waked up at seven o'clock and it's foggy and it's damp and it's dawn and it's dark And you wait for a knock and the turning of a lock for you know the hangman's waiting for you. And perhaps you're alive And perhaps you're dead Hoo ha ha Hoo ha ha HOO HOO HOO KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK