That gigolo magician has been feasting on your kisses I know you went to meet him on the east side of Mt. Mrs. He climbed up the west side and got lost So he turned into a cave and cut across... I found my bishop in his cups down by the sea He said, "Thy wife's a backwoods (hic) a backwoods (hic) A backwoods Jezebel, not faithful unto thee" So I went to see my Uncle Staggerlee He said, "I heartily agree, I've heard their groans and grunts-- Go stomp that top hat tomcat fop at once" I caught that necromancer by the cloak down by the cape I put him in a headlock, but that soulless troll escaped I know you went to see him, didn't you? Oh, it makes me want to saw you both in two I met my doc on a deserted, misty pier He whispered, "Mandrake's great For making irritations disappear" So I went to see my Uncle Staggerlee He said, "I heartily agree, But you will never get A little bit of poison out of me" That prosti-digitator made himself a cup of tea I spiked him full of poison, which I stole from Staggerlee Now he won't be seeing you, and you won't see him And are you thirsty, dear? It's nearly four PM...