Tell me, have you heard the one About the prophet with the perfect soul? The heavenly ba*tard with his own slasher flick-- The greatest fairytale ever told Weekly he receives A kneeling ovation from a sleepy nation They're swallowing the old routine, the holy saltine, And backwash from the cup of salvation Have you heard the legend sweeping the land? They're saying we all sprung from some invisible man And when he finished up, he took a little rest And he's been resting ever since I guess... Tell me, have you heard the one About the young man who died for your sins? You think he would've learned his lesson Not to mess with us, And yet they say he's gonna come again He might've hit a ripe old age If a disciple had not failed him Broken, betrayed and lost, he lay alone on the cross While the easter bunny pounded the nails in... Tell me, have you heard the one About the healer who could resurrect? They say that when he rose from the dead He had a flattened head, Black boots and two bolts in his neck Hokum all ye faithful, That's the whole fable as I was told it Honestly I'm half-way jealous of the gullible zealots Who believe this unbelievable bullsh**...