Swans - Failure lyrics

And I, I've been lonely And I, I've been blind And I, I've learned nothing So my hands are firmly tied To the sinking lead weight of failure I've worked hard all my life Money slips through my hands My face in the mirror tells me It's no surprise that I am Pushing the stone up the hill of failure And they tempt me with violence And they punish me with ideals And they crush me with an image of my life That's nothing but unreal Except on the goddamned slaveship of failure And I'll drown here trying To get up for some air But each time I think I breathe I'm laid on with a double share Of the punishing burden of failure I don't deserve to be down here But I'll never leave And I, I've learned one thing You can't escape the beast In the null and void pit of failure When I get my hands on some money I'll kiss its green skin And I'll ask its dirty face "Where the hell have you been?" "I'm the fuel that fires the engines of failure" And I'll be old and broken down And I'll forget who and where I am I'll be senile or forgotten But I'll remember and understand You can bank your hard-earned money on failure I saw my father crying I saw my mother break her hand On a wall that wouldn't weep But that certainly held in The mechanical moans of a dying man who was a failure My back hurts me when I bend Because I carry a load My brain hurts me like a knife-hole 'Cause I've yet to be shown How to pull myself out from the s**ing quicksand of failure Some people live in Hell Many ba*tards succeed But I, I've learned nothing I can't even elegantly bleed Out the poison blood of failure