[COMPANY] Mistletoe, mistletoe alert Mistletoe, mistletoe alert [EVELYN] I want a party to remember The Festivus New York December Fabulous and perfect fact A party no one will forget [COURTNEY] The catering will be sublime [LUIS] One of those waiters is more than fine [EVELYN] I hope the guests will be impressed At least I won't be underdressed [COMPANY] Mistletoe, mistletoe alert Mistletoe, mistletoe alert [PATRICK, spoken] The holidays are a difficult time for me So I prepare for the coming onslaught of eggnog And office parties Of shopping and ice skating With copious amount of d** and alcohol To dull the screaming [COURTNEY] And if the party starts to waiver I hope somebody brings party favors Or at least something risqué A little naughty [LUIS] Or a little gay [EVELYN, spoken] You look like sh** Are you okay? [PARTICK, spoken] I think it's too much red It's making me anxious [EVELYN, spoken] Are you on something? [PATRICK, spoken] I think I may be hallucinating [EVELYN, spoken] Well, then find a bathroom, Bateman Splash some water on your face, Throw up, do something [PATRICK, spoken] Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in Hell motherf**er! [PATRICK] I'll put some X in the eggnog Wait for a while The girls relax All the girls start to smile I'll open a gram Watch them go Now you see why Santa Loves the snow Some f**ing leaves At the door Can't wait till the girls Are nailed to the floor